I think I'm as happy to see Summer end as I was to see Winter end. I can't wait for Fall to come, all the red, gold, yellow, green, and browns mixed up and making me nostalgic for Samhain/Halloween and harvest decorations, for  the aroma of pumpkin, apple, and spices. I love the sunshine and green of Spring & Summer, but Autumn just warms me through, heart and soul.

Judgement- it sounds so severe. This is the card I pulled today as I contemplated what guidance my life needed.

With Fire as its ruling element (or Pluto as its ruling planet), Judgement is about rebirth, resurrection. The idea of Judgement day is that the dead rise, their sins are forgiven, and they move onto heaven. The Judgement card is similar, it asks for the resurrection to summon the past, forgive it, and let it go. There are wounds from the past that we never let heal, sins we've committed that we refuse to forgive, bad habits we haven't the courage to lose. Judgement advises us to finally face these, recognize that the past is past, and put them to rest, absolutely and irrevocably. This is also a card of healing, quite literally from an accident or illness, as well as a card signaling great transformation, renewal, change.

This is definitely my absolute favorite. I could smell the fragrance from 10 feet away in the mornings. I've already gotten info for dividing the bulbs so hopefully I'll have more blooms next year!-(and maybe a better camera for taking pics of them :) Blessed Be

For a few weeks I've felt like I'm on information overload and also having a bit of identity crisis. It's gotten so bad I've been avoiding people as much as possible, and when I do have to be at work or out somewhere I've felt like I need a 20 foot barrier between me and everyone else. It's horrible to feel like I have to shun even people I care about just to hold on to my sanity, but what else is there to do? Thankfully I've had C.S. to come to when I've felt the need, along with my attempts at meditation and any calming exercises and activities I can think of I think the worst has past. I'm still studying both Judaism and Wicca and thought I was doing better about finding my path between the two but it seems that the closer I get to the answer the more cloudy the road I'm on becomes. Well... Let it RAIN then because I'm not giving up. It's times like these that I realize how hard being solitary can be, it would feel good to have sisters close by to spend time with. I love the small town living and my little home far away from the big city but the cultural diversity my soul craves is sorely lacking here.

The Butterfly Effect

I've also had energy fluctuations that are leaving me wondering if I should check myself into a padded cell. I enjoy a good dose of inspiration and creativity as much as anyone but if I get much more I think I'm going to spontaneously combust! As it is my skin is tingly, my mind won't settle and follow through on one thought at a time, my eyes are only happy if they're reading at 30+ mph and trying to take in all the colours and shapes around me, and my computer at work has threatened me with multiple error messages if my hands don't settle down and ease up on my mouse. I've gone through almost all of my chamomile tea and calming myself  with chakra exercises in the mornings and at lunch for 5 or 10 minutes only seems to last a ½ hour or 45 min. if I'm lucky. I'm definitely not complaining. I love feeling so vibrant and alive but I have no definite direction for all of this energy (where's a man when you literally need one ?) and I've centered and grounded myself so much I should be growing roots by now. I can't get anything actually done because I'm like an overloaded hard drive that keeps looping itself trying to end one command and start another.  So after Shabbat is over this weekend I'm going to try sending out some excess energy to anyone who feels they need a boost. Pleasssse feel free to take what you need. I'm hoping that if I can get my levels down to something normal I can try writing more this weekend too. That would be a great accomplishment for me.

Shalom and mucho Blessings to All this Lughnassadh.

I've finally finished one of my projects, only about a zillion more to go! My little circle garden is filled and hopefully will grow and fill out before the season is done, if not I'll have something to look forward to next year. I tried to keep it simple since I don't have much gardening experience. I thought a 'Moon Garden' theme would be fun (and I love sitting under the big oak at night (it's actually behind where I'm standing to take this shot) so I would be able to see the flowers glowing in the moonlight)  so most of the flowers are pale yellows and white. I've got some Phlox in the back, a friend gave me some yellow lillies, snapdragons, another friend gave me some mini iris, there's also Bee Balm and Lemon Balm behind the rock, and I bordered it all with white petunias and yellow dahlia's. There's also a Jasmine vine in the back center which I hope survives the winter. I'd love to see it take over the corner post, and the smell, though much fainter than the night blooming jasmine I grew up with, reminds me of my childhood. I'm still trying to track down yarrow and feverfew to add in the 'empty spot' at the left side.

I finally got some pictures uploaded of my gardening attempts this year. Maybe next year I'll feel inspired enough to start a vegetable patch. Digging in the dirt has been so much fun and it's definitely helped my stress levels go down.

Shalom